If you’re damned if you do, you may as well do

I had an interesting conversation with the manager of the apartment Sana and I moved into last month (January 2023). This is a place I’ve lived before, so at the time it seemed like a good idea to move into a place where I have a bit of a history after being itinerant for 3+ years, and Sana being brand new to the entire country.

Things appeared to be going smoothly with the place, but then things started breaking. 3 of 4 elevators on a 15 story building inoperable. Swimming pool out of order. Security doors out of order. Service requests ignored or not attended to properly.

“I’ve never seen so many things out of order all at once,” I said to Sana, who God bless her is a trooper and willing to suffer through it for the time being.

But what has seriously irritated me throughout this ordeal is radio silence from the management about these problems. Waiting 10 minutes for your elevator to arrive forces you to change your plans on when to leave for work. But nothing from the management by way of updates, even an apology on the inconvenience forced on us because of these things.

So Sana and I had a little chat with the manager yesterday about these things. He said such and such company isn’t responsive, or they need a phone in this elevator, the city won’t allow this elevator to operate because of the floor, etc.

I politely suggested he share this info with the residents who are left in the dark, and are rightly angry no meaningful action is being taken about these things.

He replied, “And piss off a bunch of people by making promises I can’t keep? I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

One thing I learned raising a child with someone who spends her waking moments cursing my existence on this earth is the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” mantra is a way of life. I’ll be hated if I live in the U.S., and I’ll be hated if I live in Vietnam and build a meaningful relationship with the woman I’m going to spend the rest of eternity with. So I may as well do what is my and my son’s longterm best interest.

The (current) apartment manager could have sent daily updates via email regarding the repairs. Even if it’s to report there’s nothing to report, it would ease a lot of tension among people who live here. If there are delays that are beyond anyone’s control, he would probably find people are sympathetic to his situation, and would be more willing to suffer through what we hope is a temporary situation.

It would also create something known as forward intent, meaning there is a certain amount of momentum in one’s movements and decisions by simply taking action, even if it’s one small thing each day toward a goal or objective.

It’s why I subscribe to a practice called a “minimum effective dose of productivity”, meaning if I do nothing else today, I’ll at least do this. For me it’s writing a 500 word email and turning it into a blog post which gets shared on social media; plus 15 minutes doing some sort of musical activity, either playing trumpet or singing. It’s not much, and it’s not going to move the needle much regarding a doctoral dissertation, but it’s something and it keeps the mind and body engaged with the overall objective.

Not to mention it’s a heck of a lot better than finishing a day of work, only to realize no work actually got done. That’s demoralizing.

It seems like we content creators, especially those of us who differ from the approved opinions of the Gatekeepers of Polite Society, live in this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” mindset constantly. So you may as well do what you believe you were put on this earth to do and actually get something useful accomplished 😉

If you’re in need of some guidance or coaching in gathering some momentum toward a creative goal, it’s what I do and I’m willing to work with people who are serious about taking meaningful action.

If you’re the type who prefers to do nothing because it might get you in hot water with those around you, there’s no need to get in touch.

To learn more about my Creative Coaching program, here’s the link to learn more: https://jamesdnewcomb.com/creative-coaching/