Steal v. Steel

I think we can all agree that the year 2020 was a challenging year for just about everyone on the planet. In addition to the hardships brought upon us by the so-called pandemic, my wife Sana and I found ourselves in the midst of an unexpected and frustrating ordeal.

Our objective was simple: Get our marriage legally registered in Vietnam where we lived at the time. But this seemingly simple task turned into a series of confusing and never-ending hurdles. As we encountered one obstacle after another, we faced a choice that would shape the future of our relationship: to allow these challenges to “steal” our will to continue in the marriage, or to allow them to “steel” our commitment to each other and our relationship.

As with many words in the English language, the word “steel” has different meanings and spellings, each carrying its own significance. One interpretation, steal, we associate with robbery and theft, where someone forcibly takes something from you. On the other hand, “steel,” refers to the metal known for its strength and durability, capable of being molded into beautiful objects. This parallel between the two meanings resonated with our experience.

At every turn, it felt like we were being robbed of a straightforward process, as local authorities demanded more documents and additional payments. The frustration grew, but we refused to let this situation “steal” our resolve. Instead, we chose to “steel” our determination to make our marriage work, no matter the hurdles we faced.

It would have been easy to let the doubts, fears and frustrations take over. We might have interpreted the delays as signs that our marriage was not meant to be. It would have been easy to throw in the towel and give up on our dreams of starting a family together.

But we didn’t take that path. Instead, we saw the challenges as opportunities to grow stronger as a couple. We chose to embrace the struggle, allowing it to “steel” our resolve to be together. With each obstacle we overcame, we felt our bond grow stronger, our commitment more resolute.

And so, we decided to let these challenges shape us for the better. We acknowledged that no relationship is perfect, and it’s natural to have disagreements. But it was how we handled these disagreements that mattered. We chose not to let the difficulties “steal” our joy or victory. Instead, we allowed them to “steel” our inner fortitude.

Our journey to this date has not been without its hardships, but we found strength in one another. As we face new challenges in the intervening time, we remind ourselves we are in this together. We are stronger when we’re united confronting a hardship than the “easy life” going it alone.

Looking back, I’m for the difficult path my wife and I have walked. It has shaped our relationship and strengthened our commitment. We’ve emerged from that experience and newer adventures with a deeper understanding of ourselves and each other. We’ve learned the value of perseverance and the power of resolve.

Our journey has taught us that challenging circumstances do not have to break us. Instead, they can strengthen our resolve and shape us into better versions of ourselves. The year 2020 was filled with trials. So was 2021, and 2022, and there have been a few here in 2023 to day. But these trials provide us with an opportunity to “steel” our determination to build a happy and fulfilling life together. As we move forward, we carry the knowledge that with resolve, and a hefty dose of laughter at each other’s expense, we can overcome any obstacle that comes our way.