The Sinking Sands of the Maybe Desert

I am REALLY looking forward to getting back to the United States.

I am NOT looking forward to being separated from my lovely bride, Sana, again, for an indefinite period of time, again. But we had much meaningful quality time together, not to mention the progress made on her visa application in the 7 months I was here.

She knows how to handle herself while living alone, so I’m confident she’ll be fine.

I am looking forward to see my son again. His mom and I have some issues to work out regarding custody and what not, and that will all get sorted in due time.

The thing that made me pull the trigger on going back – even if it wasn’t the optimal time – is we were hanging on “Maybe” for way too long. It got to be a bit unnerving to be honest.

Being stuck here in Lockdownistan certainly didn’t help things. I love my wife, and cherish every moment I have with her, but I do like to do nice things with her like go out to eat in a nice restaurant. Not have it delivered, or have take-out. Sit in a booth and be pampered, have the food brought to us, sit together in a quiet environment, an oasis of sorts from the usual, mundane life.

Or go for a walk around the lake and not be harassed by puerile security guards for not having a face mask pulled above our noses.

History will not look favorably upon those who pushed for these lockdowns, not to mention those who did nothing to resist them. They’re brutal and inhumane, nothing more than an excuse for those in power to flex the muscles that exist only in their mind and in the arbitrary authority granted them via a signature on a piece of paper.

But even the lockdowns would be tolerable if we had certainty on when we would be able to travel together. I would wake up in the middle of the night, check my emails. “Is there any update on the visa application?”

The visa center posts the time frame on the progress they’ve made with processing applications. For each passing week, they make a day or so of progress in checking and approving documents other applicants have submitted.

Not encouraging.

Then we finally heard from them…and they rejected one of the documents. Get the right one, and head to the back of the line, Jack.

Can’t make plans with that. Can’t even live in peace with that kind of uncertainty.

A less than perfect plan with a certain degree of certainty is better than the best-laid plan with uncertainty.

So off I go. To get things ready for my CDO wife (it’s OCD with the letters in alphabetical order, as they ought to be.)

To reintegrate myself in my son’s life, so that when Sana does arrive, she can fit in as seamlessly as possible. It’s actually a better plan than what we had now that I think about it.

Everything does work out the way it’s meant to work out.